How to get over feeling like a failure.

by Zoe on February 9, 2012 · 0 comments

You know those quotes that are said by smart people about failure and how it makes you a better person? Like…

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan

or

I have not failed.  I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ~Thomas Edison

They are all so true but it is hard to think that way right after you realize you failed at something (even if it is one of many attempts). There is this physical sinking in your stomach, your throat clenches, sometimes it’s difficult to breathe. You’re just sad.

In time you’ll feel better about it (depending on the impact of your failure) but you will learn and eventually succeed if you just keep at it.

But how do you remember that when you just want to crawl up in a ball and vanish?

And I’m not talking about the positive thinking stuff, I’m talking about action. Things you physically do with your body to get over it and get over it fast. (If you’re looking more for mental preparation, check out this awesome post on Wiki-How, about “How to Overcome Failure.”)

1. Do something you are good at.
The first thing I decided to do was write. I like writing, I am good at it. And hey, wouldn’t you know it, I came up with this handy dandy blog post idea!

If you do something you know you are good at (no matter how small) you’ll gain confidence and confidence is the perfect antidote for failure. Tiger Woods starts out every practice with 100-ft putts. They’re easy and he knows he’ll make them so it will put him in a more positive, more confident frame of mind.

2. Sweat
I swear that exercise is the cure to all ailments. You get adrenaline pumping, you breathe hard, you have to focus on doing manual things – all things your body does to reduce stress. And if it’s something aggressive, like roller derby, where you get to hit people, well…all the better.

If you don’t like the idea of playing derby, I recommend you checkout BodyRock.tv. Not only will the workouts make you sweat, but you’ll get perked up by Lisa-Maire, one of the hosts.  She’s such a positive person and really is motivating (referring to her personality and physique). The whole site is amazing.

3. Sleep
When I was little, I used to sleep to get out of doing things I didn’t want to do. I remember a few times not wanting to eat my dinner. Of course, my parents were pretty strict and they made me stay at the table until I finished it. Well, instead of trying to wait it out or argue, I’d just fall asleep.

Of course, falling asleep when you’re upset is really difficult, so this one isn’t so easy to do.

4. Watch something funny
When I’m having a bit of a rough time, laughter is a good thing. And YouTube is great because you don’t have to invest a lot of time. One of my all time favourite video is:

 

5. Spend time with someone who adores you and who you adore.
This doesn’t have to be a lover (though, sex is also a good thing to add to the list). This could be anyone who thinks knows that you are smart, sexy and totally worth everything in the universe. You don’t even have to share how you are feeling with them. All you need to do is just be around them and I guarantee you they will make you feel good.

This one time I was walking to my car with my Derby Wife, after a 3 hour long, exhaustive (but productive) derby league meeting and she turned to me and said something along the lines of how much she cares for me and admires me, how happy she is that I am in her life and that she loves me. She just said it out of the blue, just to let me know – isn’t that amazing? It’s especially amazing because I feel the same way about her, though I never had the smarts to say it first (not that it’s a race, she just deserves to hear it, unsolicited).

If you have any ways you deal, please share them in the comments!

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